Myth #3: Product X will make you lose weight fast and easy! Supplement Y will completely transform your body in just a few weeks!
When I was recovering from my last surgery, I was out of work for the first six weeks. In that time, I got to watch a LOT of late night TV, mainly because the pain medication had the puzzling side-effect of making me drowsy yet also unable to fall asleep.
For anyone that's ever stayed up past 1 am with the TV on, you are more than aware that during this time period, you can't go more than two channels without running into some asshole trying to sell you some "REVOLUTIONARY, NEVER BEFORE SEEN, LAB TESTED, MIRACULOUS" product. The claims range from the ridiculous to the ludicrous (I knew that thesaurus would come in handy some day). My personal favorite, without question, is 8 Minute Abs. This one promises a washboard stomach in only 8 minutes a day.
This begs the question: Why eight minutes?
Why not seven?
In addition to the miracle exercise tapes, there are also countless ads for exercise gizmos and widgets that will transform your body without all of that senseless exercise and diet. Like the latest one, the Shake Weight:
If this is a joke, it's not funny.
The Shake Weight is the most recent in a long line of exercise gadgets that are presented with a lot of sizzle but little steak, like the Ab Lounger, the Ab Slide, and the Ab Vortex (OK, I made that last one up).
They almost always offer a money-back guarantee, but they are betting that you won't want to have to go through the hassle of boxing up and returning the useless piece of crap that's now lying in your closet for the measly $40 or $50 you spent on it.
The advertisers seduce you into thinking you can get in great shape by being lazy, and then, when you don't see results and end up using the thing as a clothesline, keep your money by capitalizing on said laziness. It's a brilliant, albeit shameless and borderline unethical, business strategy.
The supplement industry is just as, if not more, culpable (chalk up one more to Mr. Thesaurus).
The sleaziest of the sleazy, supplement companies are willing to tell you that you can lose weight, get stronger, improve your heart health, think more clearly, perform better, reverse aging, and yes, even grow a larger member:
Bob is smiling because he's stealing your money!
The great thing about being in the supplement business is that your products don't actually have to do a damn thing. Unlike pharmaceuticals, the FDA doesn't regulate supplement companies, so they are, for the most part, operating outside the law.
Notice I said, for the most part:
I bet that smug bastard Bob isn't grinning now.
I guess you could point to this as a win for the consumer, but there are so many other outlandish claims being made that it's hard to feel too enthused about one snake oil salesman ending up in the clink.
Everything from fat loss pills to simple protein powder is touted as something you'd be an absolute fool to go without. They'll tell you their pill will help you burn 43202% more fat (than what?), their powder will make you gain 14.89021 lbs of muscle in 2 weeks, and their fish oil will turn you into a Power Ranger.
This is just marketing. The fact is, 99% of supplements either don't do anything useful at all, or they seriously fail to achieve the standards set forth in their advertising. But the bigger the claim, the more likely you are to pay top dollar for something that can be purchased from another company for a lot less money.
What's so HARDCORE about protein powder?
Despite this, there are some useful supplements out there.
Fish oil is good for many things, including improving blood lipid levels and slightly easing joint soreness. The effects are very slight though. Damn stuff doesn't do a thing for my hip.
Protein powder and meal replacements can be useful if you have little time to prepare meals or have a hard time getting enough protein in your diet. It's just food though, not a wunderkind powder that will turn you into the Hulk.
Plain old creatine will help improve strength to a slight degree as long as you take it religiously. It also causes you to retain water, so women generally don't like it.
Fat loss/energy pills can help ease some of the discomfort that comes with low calorie diets, like hunger pangs and lack of energy. They are also useful for getting an extra bit of energy before your workouts.
Folks, there is no easy way to get the body of your dreams if your idea of easy is just swallowing a pill in between handfuls of pretzels. There is no easy way to work out if your idea of working out is to lay on some contraption for 5 minutes and call it a day.
The advertisers are *GASP* LYING TO YOU! They don't give a crap if you get results, as long as they get paid.
Unless you were born with awesome genes, your path to a great body will be paved with a lot of hard work and discipline.
In our fast food, "I want results YESTERDAY" culture, that's a pretty unpopular notion. "Work hard and eat right" just doesn't sell. It's too simple, and it's too freaking hard.
To summarize and close -
This works:
It's also fun when you see the results.
This doesn't:
There no words for my amusement. Not even Mr. Thesaurus can help.
In my last article debunking common exercise myths, I introduced you to a form of fat-loss training called High Intensity Metabolic Conditioning (HIMC). If you missed it, you can check it out here.
I also talked about hill sprints - the simplest form of HIMC, and one of the best fat loss workouts that you can do just about anywhere, with no special equipment needed.
This time, I'm going to introduce you to yet another form of HIMC - The Finisher. It's called The Finisher because you do it at the end of your regular strength training session, and also because after you complete it, you'll be finished.
Gassed...
If you're looking to burn off some extra chub, here are three types of finishers that you can add to your training immediately:
Bodyweight Circuits
Bodyweight circuits are great because you don't need any equipment to do them, and you can do them anywhere.
A bodyweight circuit will generally consist of 3 or more exercises done in rapid succession with little to no rest between exercises. When you get through all of the exercises, that is one circuit, or round.
A goal for a bodyweight circuit could involve doing as many rounds as possible in a certain time frame, or doing a certain number of rounds as fast as possible. I prefer the first option, because then you'll know exactly how long your workout will be. 10 minutes is usually enough time to finish off even the most conditioned athlete.
Pushups are a great bodyweight exercise.
Bodyweight circuit #1 - Maximum rounds in 10 minutes of:
Pullups x 5 (jumping pullups if you aren't proficient at pullups)
Pushups x 10 (on your knees if you can't do pushups)
Squats x 15
A good goal for this one is 10 rounds in 10 minutes.
Bodyweight circuit #2 - Maximum rounds in 10 minutes of:
Burpees x 5 (advanced: with a pushup at the bottom)
Box Jumps x 10 (onto a stable bench or up 2-3 stairs if you don't have a box)
Mountain Climbers x 20 (I call these Chasing Rabbits, but that doesn't show up on google!)
8 rounds of this one in 10 minutes is a killer!
Bodyweight circuit #3 - Maximum rounds in 10 minutes of:
Squat Jump x 10
Walking Lunge x 20 steps
Squat x 20
This one will smoke your legs. 5 rounds is a tough benchmark here.
DB Complexes
Dumbbell complexes are another great finishing method that can be used anywhere. All you need is one set of dumbbells, which are fairly cheap, don't take up much space, and can be found at any Dick's Sporting Goods.
A complex is similar to a circuit, in that you perform 3 or more exercises with the same set of dumbbells back to back with no rest in between. With complexes it is usually better to do a set number of reps with each exercise, and simply reduce your rest period in between sets as a means of progression.
DB Complex #1 - The "Shoulder Deal" (credit to Scott Abel for coming up with this one)
This complex is performed with one DB, and is done one arm at a time.
Clean and Press
Front Swing
Side Swing
Bent Over Lateral Raise
Start off with 3 sets of 6 with each arm and 60 seconds of rest between sets
DB Complex #2 - 3 sets of 6 reps each; start with 60 second rest b/w sets
Press
Front Squat
Bent Row
Romanian Deadlift
Upright Row
DB Complex #3 - 3 sets of 6 reps each; 60 seconds rest b/w sets
Renegade Row
Pushup
Clean and Press
Sumo Deadlift
Progression - The key to any successful fat loss program is progression. For these complexes you start with 3 sets of 6 reps for each exercise and 60 seconds between each set. You should first strive to add reps until you reach 3 sets of 10 reps. Then add a set and go back to 4 sets of 6 reps. Continue progressing like this until you get to 5 sets of 10 reps, then you can start decreasing the rest interval.
After you get to 5 sets of 10 reps with 30 seconds of rest, it's time to get bigger dumbbells and start all over!
Track Intervals
Track intervals combine sprinting on a 400m track with bodyweight or simple DB exercises. There are several ways to perform them, and the main difference is the distance that you sprint.
Your high school PE coach would be proud.
The first involves sprinting around the track and stopping every 100m to perform an exercise. For example:
Sprint 100m 10 pushups Sprint 100m 10 situps Sprint 100m 10 squats Sprint 100m 10 burpees
You would repeat this sequence 3 times as fast as possible, and try to beat your previous time each workout.
As I'm sure you can guess, you can perform this same workout two other ways, by simply changing the distance you sprint:
It really doesn't matter which one you choose. In my experience, the 100m version is the least challenging, and the 400m is the toughest. The difference is mostly mental though, because a full lap around a track seems pretty daunting at first.
You can also substitute any DB exercise into the mix as well, such as thrusters, DB rows, DB front squats, DB snatches, military press, etc. The variations are really endless.
A quick note about exercise performance: If you are unsure how to perform any of the exercises I've listed here, simply search on youtube and you will find a video that shows you exactly how to perform them.
Also, while I use these workouts primarily as finishers to be used after a strength training session, they can also be done separately as a stand-alone fat loss workout.
Now you have more tools to melt fat and reshape your body, but they aren't worth anything if you don't use them. So get off the couch and get it done!
That was the only thought going through my mind as I was wheeled into the OR at Duke Medical Center on November 19, 2009. Facing the prospect of having a bone removed from my leg, followed by a 12 month recovery, I'm not even sure you could call my frame of mind cautiously optimistic. No, I think "freaking petrified by anxiety" would be more accurate.
To understand how I arrived here, we have to go back to January 12, 2008, where it all started:
The day began innocently enough. My future wife Amanda and I drove up to the Peek 'N Peak ski resort in western NY to spend the day on the slopes with friends. This was going to be her first time skiing.
After about an hour or two, she's whipping down the slopes like a pro, and I'm not really surprised. She's a smart girl (with an especially low center of gravity) and tends to pick things up pretty quickly.
Several hours later, the sun is just about down, and we're all tired and ready for dinner.
"C'mon guys, ONE MORE RUN!" I say.
It's always the "one more" that gets ya.
I start down the hill at the head of the group, really gaining speed and feeling good on my sticks.
I hit one small bump, pop off the top, and land perfectly.
Not satisfied with getting a little air, I eye a much larger bump about 100 yds ahead of me. I point my tips directly at it and crouch to gain speed. By the time I reach the bottom of the bump, I'm flying like a bat outta hell.
I hit the top and jumped...
OH. SHIT.
I found myself floating through the air for what seemed like an eternity. Looking down, it seemed like the hill was half a mile below me. When I finally (crash) landed, my skis shattered and I slid about 50 yards down the hill. After I skidded to a stop, I fought to regain my breath and coughed up a little blood. When I was finally able to breathe again, I started to assess the damage.
I could feel my arms and legs, so I knew I wasn't paralyzed. At this point, my friend, Pete, got to me and started laughing at the sight before him, at the same time he asked if I was ok.
"Dude, umm, I'm not sure...."
He told me to get up and help him collect my gear that had been strewn all over the mountainside.
It was at this point, when I tried to get up, that I realized I was in big trouble.
"I've fallen, and I can't get up!"
"Uh, I can't move my right leg...."
My friend's face turned so white it blended into the snow behind him.
A sled ride, ambulance ride, and 3 hours later, I arrived at Hamot Medical Center in Erie, PA. I was in the most pain I've ever experienced in my life. They took an x-ray of my right hip:
Whoa.
My right femur was no longer resting safely in my hip socket. It was now sitting behind my pelvis. For those of you that don't know much about anatomy: This is a BAD THING.
I was wheeled out of the hospital 3 days later, hurting so bad that I could barely get out of bed.
2 weeks after that, the first time I could sit still without pain, my ass was back in the gym, on crutches of course. After all, there were some weights that needed liftin'.
3 months later, I had surgery to remove the fragments of torn ligament and chipped bone that could erode the cartilage in the joint, bringing about early arthritis.
2 weeks after surgery, I began 3 months of intensive physical therapy. I was poked, prodded, manipulated, stretched, iced, and electrostimmed 3 days a week until the end of July.
I also began training for my first bench-only powerlifting meet. I competed and won the 242 lb weight class with a 451 lb press.
Then, about 13 months after my femur was ripped out of its socket, I competed in my first full powerlifting meet in February of 2009. I squatted 650, benched 501, and deadlifted 562 for a 1713 total in the 242 lb open division.
At this point I felt on top of the world, like I had triumphed over my injury and couldn't be stopped. My training was progressing, the hip hurt at times, but in general it felt strong, and everything was moving forward.
8 months later, I learned that I had avascular necrosis of the femoral head. Apparently when my hip was dislocated, the blood supply to the femur was cut off, so the bone started to die. After enough bone dies, the head of the femur starts to collapse. When the head of the femur is totally collapsed, the only option is to have a total hip replacement.
The only treatment for this issue is to have a vascularized fibular bone graft. This is where a team of surgeons cut out a 6 inch section of the fibula in the affected leg along with the associated veins and arteries. At the same time, another team of surgeons drills into the head of the femur and removes the dead bone. Then, a third team of surgeons inserts the graft into the drilled out section of the femur and uses a microscope to reattach the veins and arteries for the bone.
The intent is to reintroduce blood supply to the bone and help new bone to grow and fill the empty void.
To me, this sounded like something straight outta Star Trek.
Awesome.
I knew I had to do this, and I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. November 19, 10 days after I found out about the problem, was the only day they could fit me in before mid January. I scheduled the surgery.
My wife and I drove to Durham, NC. I met with doctors and consultants who assured me that this was the only way to go.
The next morning, I walked into Duke Medical Center. I wouldn't walk again for 6 months.
When I came to after I had been cut, drilled, taken apart and put back together, I had an epidural sticking out of my spine and was on enough Dilaudid to kill a small horse. I couldn't feel a thing. In fact, my legs were completely numb.
"See, this isn't so bad!"
When they removed the epidural two days later, I realized how wrong I was.
The first time I went to stand up to move around a little, it felt like all of the blood in my body rushed into my right leg. This sent waves of pain ripping through my brain, and all I could do was close my eyes, grit my teeth, and wait for it to subside.
It throbbed.
It pulsated.
It ached like a sumbitch.
It was not a pleasant experience, and it didn't get much better in the following 3 days that I spent in the hospital.
Me with my favorite nurse and the best thing that ever happened to me.
In the months that followed, my physical condition slowly and steadily improved. 10 days post-op, I was back in the gym, training clients and getting a little work in myself. I subsisted on a steady diet of floor presses and pullups during that time, because all I could do was lay on the ground or hang from a bar. My leg still hurt like hell after being upright for a while, but it was a lot better than it was in the hospital.
When the big snow storm hit the day before the Super Bowl, I had progressed to the point that I was able to gimp my way through 30" of snow and help my wife dig us out of our icy prison.
It's not as easy as it looks.
Despite my physical progress, the uncertainty of my situation really put a strain on me mentally. I wasn't sure if the surgery was a success or not, and the surgeons caring for me couldn't give me a definitive answer. I would have to wait and see, and it nearly drove me crazy.
On top of that, I felt completely worthless around the house. Going up and down stairs took forever, I couldn't carry anything, and just walking with the crutches, carrying all 240 lbs of me, was exhausting. I wasn't much help doing anything, so my wife had to pick up the slack. It was very disheartening to go from a big, strong, physically capable guy to a dependent that was as helpless as two sleeping baby kittens.
...and not nearly as cute.
To make matters worse, it was impossible to forget about things because every person I saw would ask me how much longer I had on crutches. I appreciated their concern and interest, but the repetitiveness of it all was very tiresome.
Well, I was on those crutches for 6 long months. May 20, 2010 was the first day I got off of them. This was easily one of the best days of my life. Air smelled fresher, food tasted better, and the sun shined just a little brighter for me that day.
My leg was still not 100%, obviously, but since then it has steadily improved. I am to the point now where I can push the Prowler using the low handles, which is something I was not able to do just 2 weeks ago.
For the uninitiated: this is The Prowler.
My orthopedic surgeon has given me a clean bill of health for the time being, and all appears to be on its way back to normal. I will know for certain how well everything went when I am 12 months post-op in November.
I maintained most of my upper body strength throughout the whole mess and now I'm well on my way to becoming stronger than ever. Had I stopped lifting during this time, I'd be much farther away from my goals.
Now, if you're still with me through this long, rambling mess of a post, you're probably asking yourself what the point of all this is.
The point is this:
STOP LOOKING FOR EXCUSES!!!
Too often, people will find every conceivable reason to keep them from achieving the things that they want in life.
They don't have the time or the energy to exercise, so they stay fat, weak, and out of shape.
They don't have the skills or the experience to change careers, so they keep doing the same shit job they've been doing for years.
They don't have the opportunity or the money to go back to school, so they never enroll.
They don't know how to start playing that instrument, so they never pick it up.
"The time just isn't right," they say. Maybe in 6 months, after this happens, and after this other thing is over, then they'll start. They'll start someday, eventually.
Well guess what: The time is NEVER going to be right, the stars will never align, and all the traffic lights will never be green. "Someday, eventually" will never come.
Then one day you will wake up and 10 years have gone by and you'll regret not having done what you've always wanted to do.
You'll regret not going to the gym and getting in the best shape of your life every time you have to don a bathing suit in public.
You'll regret not making that career change every morning when you walk into that job you can't stand.
You'll regret not going back to school and opening up a new world of opportunity for yourself.
You'll regret not picking up that instrument and giving it your best shot every time you see some 15 year old on youtube playing the hell out of it.
If I've learned anything in my 28 years, it's that there is no worse way to live than in regret.
My goal for myself physically has always been to get stronger than I was yesterday. When I was laid up for 10 of the last 30 months on crutches, I could have made a million excuses why I couldn't go to the gym.
I was in pain.
I was tired.
I was frustrated by not being able to train like I wanted to.
But I got my ass in there and GOT IT DONE. I did the best I possibly could. I worked with what was available to me and my capabilities at the time.
This is a training blog, so I'll narrow my focus a little and just end with this:
If you have always wanted to lose that spare tire and build a strong muscular body that your wife won't be able to take her hands off of...
If you've always wanted to finally lose the fat and enjoy the jealous looks from other women at the pool as you walk around looking amazing in that bikini...
If you've always wanted to get to that next level of performance on the playing field that leaves your opponents stunned and wondering "Who the heck WAS that?"...
NOW is the time!
Now is the time to go out and get after those dreams you've been sitting on for so long.
Now. Not tomorrow, not on Monday, not next month, not in the fall, NOW.
The "right" time will never come. So stop waiting for it, and GET IT DONE!
***I would like to thank my friends, family, and especially my wife, for all the love, support, and assistance that they gave me throughout my "ordeal." I don't know how I would have done it without you guys. I love you all!***
