I just couldn't let this one go....

Apparently the Shake Weight is selling like hotcakes, so the makers came out with this:



I just saw this on TV last night.  Does anyone out there think the guys in this advertisement look like they do because of 6 minute workouts with the Shake Weight 4 Men?

I'm curious to know if anyone believes this BS.  Scratch that, I know they do.  They'll probably sell a million of these things.

"There's a sucker born every minute." - P.T. Barnum

Body Transformation Guidelines

If you're not happy with the way you look, here are 5 guidelines that are guaranteed to give you the body you've been dreaming about!

1.  Diet is the most important thing.


There is a saying in the fitness world that you can't out-train a bad diet.  This isn't entirely true, but if you don't have 20 hours a week to spend on exercise, then it is an absolute certainty.

To lose fat, you must have a caloric deficit.  You can create this in 3 ways:

1. Diet alone - This is the least time-consuming option.  It's also the most difficult because most people (including myself) have a difficult time adhering to insanely strict, calorie-counting diets.  This is also assuming that you will be performing strength training to maintain your muscle mass (see #2).
2. Exercise alone - This is the most time-consuming option.  I'm going to assume that most people don't have 15-20 hours to spend in the gym, so this one's out.
3. Diet and exercise - This is the most realistic and effective method.  Keep in mind that the less strict your diet, the more you have to exercise.

Well now that we have that nailed down, how much do you have to restrict your eating?

Let me first say that I'm not a fan of counting calories.  It is tedious and time-consuming.  It's also unnecessary unless your goal is to get extremely lean (like bodybuilding contest lean).

 Reading nutrition information works better than sleeping pills.

The simplest way to do it is to eat less than you normally do.  If you normally eat desserts after every meal or snack in between meals, that is the first thing to go.  Try doing that for 2 weeks and see how your body responds.

If you lose 1-2 lbs a week, keep going until your progress slows down or stops, then make another small change.  If you normally drink calorie-containing beverages, cut those out.  Switch to diet pop, Crystal Light, and water.  If you go out to dinner on a regular basis, start ordering from the "healthy choice" section of the menu (almost every chain restaurant has one now).

The key here is making consistent, steady progress.  When that progress slows or stops, it's time to make another small change.

Also, if you "fall off the wagon" and devour the entire bakery section at Giant Eagle, don't sweat it.  You didn't "ruin" your diet.  Just continue it like nothing ever happened, and try to resist temptation (or avoid it altogether!) next time.


For further information on what to eat, check out this article.


2. To reshape your body, you must gain muscle, or at least maintain the muscle you already have.

This is why aerobic exercise and diet alone falls flat on its face when it comes to body transformation.  When you lose the fat, you just end up looking like a smaller version of how you looked before.  Not to mention the fact that you will no doubt lose a good deal of muscle in the process.

Losing muscle will lower your resting metabolic rate.  So after you've lost the weight, you're much more likely to gain it all back and then some unless you continue dieting and doing cardio.  Then, when you go to diet again, it will be much harder to get the weight off.


The key is to maintain your muscle mass through progressive resistance training.  This way, your resting metabolic rate will be maintained.  When the diet is over, you won't gain all of the weight back, and you'll be able to maintain your new body much more easily.

To maintain, or even gain, muscle and strength while dieting, you should strength train with mainly compound exercises 2-4 times per week.  Squats, deadlifts, bench press, standing press, pullups (or pulldowns), and rows will give you the most bang for your buck.  Split these up over the 2-4 days and try to get stronger in each of them.  

Squats are awesome.

Be realistic though.  Depending on your current strength level, it can be nearly impossible to gain strength on a good fat loss diet.  Your muscles will be depleted of glycogen and water, and your overall energy level will be lower.  Sometimes it can feel like you're losing muscle and strength, when in reality you've only lost the ability to display your strength.


If any of you follow my training log, you'll notice that I recently finished up a fat loss phase myself.  By the end of it, I could barely bench press 295 lbs for one rep!  Three weeks later I pressed 305 for 3 easy reps.  I hadn't lost the muscle or the strength, but my muscles were so depleted that I couldn't use my usual weights in the gym.

Remember that the next time you're in the middle of a diet and feel like you can barely deadlift a pair of wet socks!


3. High Intensity Metabolic Conditioning

HIMC is the most efficient way to lose fat from a "time spent" standpoint.  Since time is a precious commodity to most of us, I'll assume that this is a desirable thing.

I have written about this in past articles, so I'll be brief here:

• Perform HIMC 1-3 times per week as standalone training sessions.
• Incorporate HIMC "finishers" after 1-3 of your weight training sessions.
• Total HIMC training should not exceed 4 total sessions per week
• Start slow, with 1 day devoted to HIMC and 1 "finisher" at the end of strength training, and build from there.
• You can see several good examples of HIMC workouts here and here.
• Don't be afraid to skip a workout if you are honestly wiped out.  But, don't take this as an excuse to be a wimp.

  

Crybabies need not apply.

4. Aerobic exercise - THE LAST RESORT!

If you follow guidelines 1-3 to the letter, you WILL lose fat and maintain (or even, in certain cases, gain) muscle and strength.  However, if you're still not satisfied with your progress, and you still have time to burn, you can add aerobic exercise into your program.

There really is no limit to how much you can do.  Bodybuilders and figure models sometimes do up to 2-3 hours of aerobic work per day!

That's like climbing Mt. Rainier every day.

I suggest starting with 1-3 days at 20-30 minutes each day and working up from there until you start seeing the progress you want.  Again, this is ONLY if you're already nailing #1-3 above and still not seeing satisfactory results.

It really doesn't matter what type of aerobic activity you choose, so long as it makes you breathe harder than normal.  Incline treadmill walking, stairsteppers, stationary bikes, and ellipticals will all work in this case.  If I had to do this, I would walk around my housing plan in a 40 lb weight vest, because at this point my neighbors couldn't think I'm any more crazy, and my weight vest bears a strong resemblance to a flak jacket.

 It is a scientific fact that wearing a flak jacket will make 

you awesome no matter what you wear underneath it.

 5.  Putting it all together.

Here is a sample beginner's body transformation training program:

Monday - strength training with HIMC finisher

Warm-up for 5-10 minutes
A)  Squat - 5 sets of 4-8 reps working up to one top set
B1)  Standing Military Press - 4 sets of 4-8 reps working up to one top set
B2)  Pullups or pulldowns - 4 sets of 8-12 reps working up to one or two top sets
*B1 and B2 means that these exercises are to be alternated each set (press, pull, press, etc)
C)  Plank - 3 sets for max time
D)  Prowler push or bodyweight complex for max reps in 10 minutes


Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday - strength training


Warm-up for 5-10 minutes
A)  Deadlift - 5 sets of 4-8 reps working up to one top set
B1)  DB Rows - 4 sets of 8-12 reps working up to one or two top sets
B2)  Bench Press - 4 sets of 4-8 reps working up to one top set
C)  Hanging Leg Raises - 3 sets of max reps


Friday or Saturday - HIMC


Warm-up for 5-10 minutes
Hill running - until you're done;  start off slow and add reps each time


Diet - follow the 5 Simple Rules and make adjustments when progress slows or stops


Follow these guidelines and I guarantee that in 2-3 months there will be a new you staring back at you in the mirror!  You won't be able to walk outside to get your mail without someone commenting on how great you look!

Get started TODAY!  

Strength & Conditioning Myths Debunked! Part 3

Myth #3:  Product X will make you lose weight fast and easy!  Supplement Y will completely transform your body in just a few weeks!

When I was recovering from my last surgery, I was out of work for the first six weeks.  In that time, I got to watch a LOT of late night TV, mainly because the pain medication had the puzzling side-effect of making me drowsy yet also unable to fall asleep.

For anyone that's ever stayed up past 1 am with the TV on, you are more than aware that during this time period, you can't go more than two channels without running into some asshole trying to sell you some "REVOLUTIONARY, NEVER BEFORE SEEN, LAB TESTED, MIRACULOUS" product.

The claims range from the ridiculous to the ludicrous (I knew that thesaurus would come in handy some day).  My personal favorite, without question, is 8 Minute Abs.  This one promises a washboard stomach in only 8 minutes a day.

This begs the question: Why eight minutes?

Why not seven?

In addition to the miracle exercise tapes, there are also countless ads for exercise gizmos and widgets that will transform your body without all of that senseless exercise and diet.  Like the latest one, the Shake Weight:

If this is a joke, it's not funny.

The Shake Weight is the most recent in a long line of exercise gadgets that are presented with a lot of sizzle but little steak, like the Ab Lounger, the Ab Slide, and the Ab Vortex (OK, I made that last one up).

They almost always offer a money-back guarantee, but they are betting that you won't want to have to go through the hassle of boxing up and returning the useless piece of crap that's now lying in your closet for the measly $40 or $50 you spent on it.

The advertisers seduce you into thinking you can get in great shape by being lazy, and then, when you don't see results and end up using the thing as a clothesline, keep your money by capitalizing on said laziness.  It's a brilliant, albeit shameless and borderline unethical, business strategy.

The supplement industry is just as, if not more, culpable (chalk up one more to Mr. Thesaurus).

The sleaziest of the sleazy, supplement companies are willing to tell you that you can lose weight, get stronger, improve your heart health, think more clearly, perform better, reverse aging, and yes, even grow a larger member:

Bob is smiling because he's stealing your money!

The great thing about being in the supplement business is that your products don't actually have to do a damn thing.  Unlike pharmaceuticals, the FDA doesn't regulate supplement companies, so they are, for the most part, operating outside the law.

Notice I said, for the most part:

I bet that smug bastard Bob isn't grinning now.

I guess you could point to this as a win for the consumer, but there are so many other outlandish claims being made that it's hard to feel too enthused about one snake oil salesman ending up in the clink.

Everything from fat loss pills to simple protein powder is touted as something you'd be an absolute fool to go without.  They'll tell you their pill will help you burn 43202% more fat (than what?), their powder will make you gain 14.89021 lbs of muscle in 2 weeks, and their fish oil will turn you into a Power Ranger.

 

This is just marketing.  The fact is, 99% of supplements either don't do anything useful at all, or they seriously fail to achieve the standards set forth in their advertising.  But the bigger the claim, the more likely you are to pay top dollar for something that can be purchased from another company for a lot less money.

 What's so HARDCORE about protein powder?

Despite this, there are some useful supplements out there.  

Fish oil is good for many things, including improving blood lipid levels and slightly easing joint soreness.  The effects are very slight though.  Damn stuff doesn't do a thing for my hip.

Protein powder and meal replacements can be useful if you have little time to prepare meals or have a hard time getting enough protein in your diet.  It's just food though, not a wunderkind powder that will turn you into the Hulk. 

Plain old creatine will help improve strength to a slight degree as long as you take it religiously.  It also causes you to retain water, so women generally don't like it.

Fat loss/energy pills can help ease some of the discomfort that comes with low calorie diets, like hunger pangs and lack of energy.  They are also useful for getting an extra bit of energy before your workouts.

Folks, there is no easy way to get the body of your dreams if your idea of easy is just swallowing a pill in between handfuls of pretzels.  There is no easy way to work out if your idea of working out is to lay on some contraption for 5 minutes and call it a day.

The advertisers are *GASP* LYING TO YOU!  They don't give a crap if you get results, as long as they get paid.

Unless you were born with awesome genes, your path to a great body will be paved with a lot of hard work and discipline.

In our fast food, "I want results YESTERDAY" culture, that's a pretty unpopular notion.  "Work hard and eat right" just doesn't sell.  It's too simple, and it's too freaking hard.

To summarize and close -

This works:

It's also fun when you see the results.

This doesn't:

There no words for my amusement.  Not even Mr. Thesaurus can help.

You gotta earn it.

High Intensity Metabolic Conditioning: The Finisher

In my last article debunking common exercise myths, I introduced you to a form of fat-loss training called High Intensity Metabolic Conditioning (HIMC).  If you missed it, you can check it out here.

I also talked about hill sprints - the simplest form of HIMC, and one of the best fat loss workouts that you can do just about anywhere, with no special equipment needed.

This time, I'm going to introduce you to yet another form of HIMC - The Finisher.  It's called The Finisher because you do it at the end of your regular strength training session, and also because after you complete it, you'll be finished.

Gassed...

If you're looking to burn off some extra chub, here are three types of finishers that you can add to your training immediately:

Bodyweight Circuits

Bodyweight circuits are great because you don't need any equipment to do them, and you can do them anywhere.

A bodyweight circuit will generally consist of 3 or more exercises done in rapid succession with little to no rest between exercises.  When you get through all of the exercises, that is one circuit, or round.

A goal for a bodyweight circuit could involve doing as many rounds as possible in a certain time frame, or doing a certain number of rounds as fast as possible.  I prefer the first option, because then you'll know exactly how long your workout will be.  10 minutes is usually enough time to finish off even the most conditioned athlete.

Pushups are a great bodyweight exercise.

 

Bodyweight circuit #1 - Maximum rounds in 10 minutes of:

Pullups x 5 (jumping pullups if you aren't proficient at pullups)

Pushups x 10 (on your knees if you can't do pushups)

Squats x 15

A good goal for this one is 10 rounds in 10 minutes.

Bodyweight circuit #2 - Maximum rounds in 10 minutes of:

Burpees x 5 (advanced: with a pushup at the bottom)

Box Jumps x 10 (onto a stable bench or up 2-3 stairs if you don't have a box)

Mountain Climbers x 20 (I call these Chasing Rabbits, but that doesn't show up on google!)

8 rounds of this one in 10 minutes is a killer!

Bodyweight circuit #3 - Maximum rounds in 10 minutes of:

Squat Jump x 10

Walking Lunge x 20 steps

Squat x 20

This one will smoke your legs.  5 rounds is a tough benchmark here.

DB Complexes

Dumbbell complexes are another great finishing method that can be used anywhere.  All you need is one set of dumbbells, which are fairly cheap, don't take up much space, and can be found at any Dick's Sporting Goods.

A complex is similar to a circuit, in that you perform 3 or more exercises with the same set of dumbbells back to back with no rest in between.  With complexes it is usually better to do a set number of reps with each exercise, and simply reduce your rest period in between sets as a means of progression.

DB Complex #1 - The "Shoulder Deal" (credit to Scott Abel for coming up with this one)

This complex is performed with one DB, and is done one arm at a time.

Clean and Press

Front Swing

Side Swing

Bent Over Lateral Raise

Start off with 3 sets of 6 with each arm and 60 seconds of rest between sets

DB Complex #2 - 3 sets of 6 reps each; start with 60 second rest b/w sets

Press

Front Squat

Bent Row

Romanian Deadlift

Upright Row

DB Complex #3 - 3 sets of 6 reps each; 60 seconds rest b/w sets

Renegade Row

Pushup

Clean and Press

Sumo Deadlift

Progression - The key to any successful fat loss program is progression.  For these complexes you start with 3 sets of 6 reps for each exercise and 60 seconds between each set.  You should first strive to add reps until you reach 3 sets of 10 reps.  Then add a set and go back to 4 sets of 6 reps.  Continue progressing like this until you get to 5 sets of 10 reps, then you can start decreasing the rest interval.

After you get to 5 sets of 10 reps with 30 seconds of rest, it's time to get bigger dumbbells and start all over!


Track Intervals

Track intervals combine sprinting on a 400m track with bodyweight or simple DB exercises.  There are several ways to perform them, and the main difference is the distance that you sprint.

Your high school PE coach would be proud.

The first involves sprinting around the track and stopping every 100m to perform an exercise.  For example:

Sprint 100m
10 pushups
Sprint 100m
10 situps
Sprint 100m
10 squats
Sprint 100m
10 burpees

You would repeat this sequence 3 times as fast as possible, and try to beat your previous time each workout.

As I'm sure you can guess, you can perform this same workout two other ways, by simply changing the distance you sprint:

Sprint 200m
10 pushups
10 situps
Sprint 200m
10 squats
10 burpees

-OR-

Sprint 400m
10 pushups
10 situps
10 squats
10 burpees

It really doesn't matter which one you choose.  In my experience, the 100m version is the least challenging, and the 400m is the toughest.   The difference is mostly mental though, because a full lap around a track seems pretty daunting at first.

You can also substitute any DB exercise into the mix as well, such as thrusters, DB rows, DB front squats, DB snatches, military press, etc.  The variations are really endless.


A quick note about exercise performance:  If you are unsure how to perform any of the exercises I've listed here, simply search on youtube and you will find a video that shows you exactly how to perform them.

Also, while I use these workouts primarily as finishers to be used after a strength training session, they can also be done separately as a stand-alone fat loss workout.

Now you have more tools to melt fat and reshape your body, but they aren't worth anything if you don't use them.  So get off the couch and get it done!